Living Well Has Consequences
Windy Ezzell, LCMHC
When is the last time you talked about the consequences of living well with your circle?
We talk about the benefits and rewards of healing, like peace, clarity, healthier relationships, and boundaries, which is supposed to bring us more joy. We talk about the hardships of surviving grief, trauma, chronic stress, and isolation. But what about the complex and messy consequences of choosing to live well?
Living Well Disrupts The Status Quo. Living well isn’t just about exercise and meditation (don’t get me wrong, those are great tools for the toolbox!). It’s about making conscious and intentional decisions to honor your physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, and financial needs, and to prioritize what nourishes your complete being. It might mean leaving a job, changing a relationship, switching to a different church, or choosing rest in a culture addicted to hustle. This pivot changes things, big time!
What happens when you start to live well? Here is where it gets complicated:
You will outgrow relationships that were sustained by keeping the peace. Aka, Self-Abandonment. It means walking away from a version of yourself that was easier to digest but wasn’t fully alive! It served us well until it didn’t. No judgement, just observation. Take the risk! Like Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”
Staying small, silent, and stuck creates disease and dis-ease. Living whole and well in a world that benefits from your burnout is a rebellious declaration of self-worth. Declare it by living it!
The people who benefited from your silence and people pleasing will be disappointed. It’s ok if they don’t like boundaries, they can choose to do their own personal work to feel differently, or not. Like Mel Robbins says, “Let Them!”
You will be faced with the dynamics in family, work, or culture, that relied on your compliance. Start healing the fears of rejection and the old wounds of abandonment. Its brutal and beautiful, like Glennon Doyle says, “Brutiful!” but the feeling of pure freedom and peace when you cut the ties that bind you to old scripts and attachments are GLORIOUS.
You will face awareness and grief for what you tolerated for so long, your smaller circle, and feelings of loss. These are not failures. These are the consequences of living well and scream progress. Feel it so you can heal it, because you are so worth it! Or, as I say, “Acknowledge, Embrace, Walk Through.”
The Benefits of Living Well
So, you took the leap, dove in, and started rewriting the scripts to rewire your nervous system and learn how to live well. You are giving yourself the BEST gifts no one else can give you:
Peace. Your inner world becomes quieter. Not perfect, not free from the roller coaster of life, but calmer, safer, more joyful, and sustainable.
Self-Trust. You begin to know and believe your intuition matters. Your “no” becomes sacred. Your “yes” becomes intentional. Modeling the boundaries without expecting people to approve of them becomes a nonnegotiable!
Aligned Relationships. While some relationships and connections will fade, others will deepen. Remind yourself that staying in familiarity is a false sense of security and perpetuates misalignment. You will attract people who honor your wholeness, not your performance and respect your authenticity!
Resilience. Not the kind that makes you numb to life, but the kind that allows you to practice these new ways of life with confident vulnerability, clarity, and trust in the journey.
A Loving Reminder
Living well can be raw, lonely, courageous and slow. It’s not glamorous, but the freedom is glorious. And every time you choose your souls wellbeing over your old script’s conditioning, you are choosing to thrive! So yes, living well has consequences, but those consequences are proof that you are Growing, Healing, and Living, Isn’t that what we’re here for?
In love and wellness, Windy